So Corey decided we were going to have an evening out last night. We went to a Christmas program at a nearby church and then to coffee with friends afterward. Of course I did what I have done every day for the last 6 months when Corey mentions an evening away from home?I dragged my feet and tried to come up with an excuse for why we shouldn?t go. Y?all, motherhood makes you have the strangest and, yes, dare I say it? irrational feelings. Before last night, I?d been away from Mary Jane exactly two other times in the last 6 months. So last night makes a grand total of three times. Every time we talk about leaving her with Corey?s parents for a couple hours, I start feeling guilty. And then I start worrying that something will happen to her and I won?t be there. Oh, and I also do this when we leave MJ in the church nursery. I spend about half the service wondering if she might roll off the changing table, or hit her head trying to leap to her feet, or a hundred other scenarios. I have even considered telling the nursery workers not to bother changing her diaper, because I?m that crazy! And also, I just really adore that little girl. I love being with her. When I put her to bed at night I miss her. But last night, an evening out with my man and my friends, was really good. I probably laughed too hard at things that weren?t that funny, because I don?t get out much, but it was still good. And I really enjoyed the time alone with Corey. And I told him I was really glad we went after all. But I sure did love gathering my baby up in my arms at the end of the night to bring her back home with us. Please tell me I?m not the only crazy mama out here.
Source: http://www.coreysosebee.com/blog/2012/12/on-new-motherhood/
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